How I am feeling....

I have been feeling so blue lately. This past week has really taken a toll out on my mind and affecting my motivation in all things.

So many things have been going on. Looking for a job, and being that it has to be a night job so that John can watch the kids, I had to look at places that I would normally wouldnt work at. So I applied at Jack-in-the-box, McDonalds, Shopko, Lowes. Of course the only ones that called me back was McDonalds. I got the job and now I am supposed to go for my orientation tomorrow night, I just dont know about this, I keep having second thoughts. WHAT am I supposed to do? I pray about it, and it says yes and then pray again and then I feel like I am not supposed to. Uggg. I know there is no clear answers but what is hard is I have 2 friends I talk to and both are supportive of either. I wish for more friends, I wish for more motivation, I wish for me to remember more, I wish for us to have a larger family. All in all life is great, just crazy right now and I am so confused on so many levels.

Well I hope I didnt get everyone depressed that reads this, but sometimes just getting it out helps to feel better. What bothers me the most is I feel so down and so unmotivated I havent went to church for a couple weeks again, I just stay in bed or on couch in pj's. I hate feeling this way. I love church, I love my life, I love the kids I have now and the ones to come. I love the friends I have.

Wish me luck! :) I am praying for a better week! :) All comments or suggestions are greatly appreciated! Hugs!